Elastic band replacing self harm?

I've recently had a bf who changed my life. When i told him i SH- he was so loving and caring. For the first time a bf listened to my probs n helped me. my SH stopped, i grew confident n i felt much happier about life.

alas, the boy dumped me over myspace suddenly 1 morning. this, after everything i'd been through with him, sent me downwards n i slashed my wrist with the thought- 'this is for thinking that anyone really cared that you did this'. stupid n somewhat childish/emo i know.

my point is, i've recently thought. right. he helped me get this far. we're still mates, even though he broke my heart and i wanna prove to him i can get over it!

ive resorted to snapping elastic bands on my arm now. but now i have big purple bruises.

this normal? if so when will theY fade? theyre not directly on the wrist but the lower arm near elbow. Hiding it is really hard; i thought they'd fade in an hour or so!

or am i just overdoin it and need to tone it down a bit?

Thanks in advance :] %26lt;3

Elastic band replacing self harm?

I'm a therapist and I agree with all the folks here who speak from personal experience that you need to speak with a professional that can help you explore healthier alternatives. The longer you wait, the harder it gets, so please seek some assistance. Cutting really only works for a while and eventually it'll lose its charm and you may find yourself cutting deeper and more often in order to achieve the same effect.

Just a couple of ideas to help get you started-try to stop in small steps. Set yourself a goal to not cut for a certain time period and when you've mastered that, set yourself a goal to refrain for longer periods, depending on how frequently you are cutting. Take it one day, one hour at a time if necessary. You can do this with each episode when you feel the impulse to cut in order to increase your self-control each time you feel the desire. What you'll also find is that as you go for longer and longer periods of time without giving in to the urge to cut, you'll become more aware of all your feelings and what is driving them and therapy can really help you to understand it better and give you options to consider. Ultimately you need to make a choice to stop the behavior or it won't stop. But for starters, try making a choice to refrain for a little longer than usual and challenge yourself to extend the time for longer and longer intervals. Setting a goal to stop can be daunting, but breaking it down into steps usually works and it allows you gradual access to your emotions so you can learn alternate methods of coping a little at a time.

Also, remove and get rid of all the things with which you regularly cut. Many people have certain items they use all the time and it becomes like a ritual. Removing these things will help you gain delay time by not having them readily accessible. It won't prevent you from getting other objects, but it will decrease the likelihood that you'll act on impulse alone.

Another option that has worked for some folks is to take a doll or stuffed animal that you love and cut it instead and then stitch it up or bandage it. It allows you to vent your feelings, but also helps you recognize and empathize with the pain you are inflicting by doing this and that in turn helps develop understanding towards yourself and gives you an opportunity to engage in actions designed to help heal the hurt. Loving something else, even a stuffed animal, is often a path towards learning to love and care for yourself.

Rubber bands, drawing a red line with a marker or ice are substitutes and some folks do find this helpful, but ultimately you need to break away from the cycle of causing yourself pain in order to numb up your emotions.

One other thought to consider. What you experience when you cut is really more like relief from pain than it is like truly feeling happy. The absence of pain is not the same as feeling happy, so don't settle for less than really being happy. Good luck!!!!

Elastic band replacing self harm?

Nope!!! its okay!!=]

Elastic band replacing self harm?

how about you just stop! that might work!

Elastic band replacing self harm?

everyone uses that and thinks"oh, its not cutting myself so its okay" the fact is, if your causing yourself and sort of pain on purpose, then...whats the difference HOW you do it? my ex used to drip hot wax on her arm because shes afraid of knives and she loves fire... no different. i used to push blades into my arm in a way that didnt break the skin but stil hurt. no different (to be fair i didnt do it to justify it just to avoid permanent marks)

Elastic band replacing self harm?

Try ice cubes (pressing ice cubes against where you want to hurt yourself) instead of the rubber band. Do you want to get control back? You are smart to know you need something to fill in the function of that behavior to stop it. Good luck.

Elastic band replacing self harm?

You need to control the urge to do any of that self mutilation to yourself... there are other ways to take our your frustration.

Elastic band replacing self harm?

stop hurting ur self, exercise instead to blow off steam

Elastic band replacing self harm?

I used to snap rubber bands on my wrist when I was trying to starve myself. I'd say get some counselling (write in a journal if you don't do counselling), or maybe find yourself a good, healthy hobby - hiking, gardening, baking - something life-affirming. And do what you can to hide it. It used to hurt me so bad to see my friends with slashes on their arms.

Elastic band replacing self harm?

Frankly the guy kinda sounds like a chav.

He helps you get over SH, then dumps you?

I STRONGLY suggest you speak with a school counselor, a pastor/other of your church/other, or else your parents [unless they're abusive assholes, in which case run away and join a circus. You may shovel elephant crap for a while, but you'll quickly move up the ranks to trapeez person]

Also, the bruises will probably take two or three weeks to fade if they are large and strong.

Be okay, okay?

Elastic band replacing self harm?

I'm going to assume that you're fairly young and hyper.

Try to calm down and realize that you've got a lot of life ahead of you to work out relationships and that as you get older, the boys and men you encounter will gradually become more mature, serious and capable of embracing true love.

A lot of life ahead IF you don't manage to kill yourself first! NO boyfriend is worth that! Also, do you have any girlfriends? They can often be a valuable ally at times like this. Well, unless they're cutting too!

Elastic band replacing self harm?

yes this is a great idea. i have been a self harmer for 7-8years i stoped half a year ago and i use elastic bands. it has the same feeling as cutting but it dosent harm you mentally. also it leaves bruises/marks but not scars. and the bruises fade so i think its great haveing the same feeling but no mental harm going on and i wont create more scars on my body.

and why give up all your hard work for that boy! he didnt make you stop cutting you did. my boyfriend suported me in stopping but i didnt stop because of him and i wont start again if he leaves me in the future. you do it for you and in your own time dont do it for anyone else.

the bruises take a few days to go away depends on your skin type and how easily you can bruise, could take a week.

good luck anyway and i hope you stick to the elastic bands! x

Elastic band replacing self harm?

I think the elastic band is probably a good idea. When I gave up self harm I became an alcoholic so don't take to drink as a substitute.

Elastic band replacing self harm?

I think that the problem stems deeper than just that one situation seeing as how you have been doing it for so long, you need to talk with someone, I've placed a link below and all I ask is that you help yourself and go to this site, you're worth it and you wouldn't have posted here if you didn't think so :).

Elastic band replacing self harm?

Take your frustration out on something that wont matter like throw a ball at a wall. If that doesn't work you need counciling you should go to your G.P. and ask for help. It will be very hard to ask for help but you know you have a problem so that's a start. Any bruise takes several days sometimes more than a week to fade please don't do it anymore throw that ball instead

Elastic band replacing self harm?

Self harm is a way to control you life hun

It may be the one thing you may feel in control of, and usualy i it is to help you stop yourself from doing something more drastic.

The elastic band is a fantastic idea and appears to have helped, But you appear to want to stop now ?

You could also try ice cubes on the areas you harm more frequently.

This gives the same sort of relief that the s.e does.

Have you considered seeing a counsellor to find out what your underlying issue is?

A counsellor will be able to help you to work out why you do this and how you feel about it as well as help you to come to terms with any possible trauma which may have influenced your need to do this

Take care

XXXXXXXXXX

Elastic band replacing self harm?

I was given an elastic band by a counsellor. I used it for a few days, then decided it was just as bad. The intent to harm was still there!

I can't give you a perfect answer as I'm still going through the same stuff as I have done for 13 years, but I just know that I have learned not to depend on anyone and not to think doctors will "heal" you. Can't tell you if I'm right.

Good luck xxx